Nation Braces for Chaos

Indianapolis, IN — In a move that has sent both fans and bracketologists into a panic, the NCAA described "modest" plans to expand March Madness from 68 teams to an unspecified but larger number.

Because if 68 teams bring such joy, just imagine how happy people will be with an infinitely higher number. It’s simple math.

The expansion means fans will need to adjust their tournament viewing schedules. Instead of squeezing a few days off in mid-March, devoted fans can look forward to taking potentially months off work to watch 24-game simulcasts on 24 different streaming networks for weeks on end, trying to decipher a bracket that could cover a gymnasium floor.

The new format could include a diverse range of contenders, with teams from all members of Division I, II and III, a handful of talented club, high school and junior high basketball teams.

Many coaches are also excited about the potential, seeing it as a chance to make their mark. "For years, they've kept it under 70 teams, but those days may be gone," said one coach from a basement-dwelling mid-major who requested anonymity. "Now everyone has a shot, including teams that are just… well, around."

An expanded bracket also promises a wider range of seed matchups. Picture a thrilling 1-vs-2,974 game.

"People thought we couldn't top the madness. Challenge accepted."

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